An Atypical Chick: A Gay Man in a Woman's Body Coming Out to Change Life as We Know It by Rhonny Dam

Author:Rhonny Dam [Dam, Rhonny]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2016-12-25T08:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER 15: Finding Validation

That’s what I did. I wasn’t finding fulfillment or validation, so I grabbed it in another way. I condemned myself to years of loathing of my body, which has more than erased any validation I might have received. I quickly outgrew the girl that wanted that kind of attention, and became the person who has plastic in her body and can’t stand it. Now I need to be real, honest and well, plastic-free. Every day I feel the insult of their presence within me. The minute I can, I will have them removed along with most of the breast tissue. I won’t have my nipples reattached either. I’ve never been fond of them anyway. I’ll do a chest-piece tattoo. Also, it will be amusing to say I can walk around without a shirt on because Society’s main objection to girls without shirts is inexplicably nipples.

I don’t begrudge anyone having plastic surgery to feel better about themselves. I just wonder if there isn’t a better way to do that. Surely, validation does not have to come at such a high price. I can’t help but feel that we women are the ones who pressure each other into feeling like we need radical, risky surgery to be “good enough.” Surely, there are men that place pressure on some women. And most of the doctors performing the surgeries are men. However, the female expectations, ridicules, bullying, meanness, appraisal, and validation of the so-called ideal breasts help to drive the fake boob industry.

Grey hair? I don’t color my hair either. I prefer my whites. My hair is frosted by Nature, highlighted by time. I used to color, but have come to the idea that soaking my scalp in chemicals is not a particularly good idea, and I wish we would all move away from it. Many can’t seem to break that one. It’s also a giant waste of water in a world where potable water isn’t nearly as available as people in the US think it is.

With this newfound realization of myself and my path and my desire to get back to natural, it’s easy to see how I came to hate what I had done to myself. I have been stuck for a long time.

We all do things to validate ourselves. Some need it more than others. I needed it desperately. Maybe if I looked the part, I would feel the part. It has to come down to the sort of validation we seek. Why are we doing these things? Who am I trying to impress? What will make me matter? Can we got to the point where we give approval so women don’t do such things, feel the need for these things anymore? We need to stop the objectification. It’s harmful.

What a number I have done to myself in this life. I became obsessed with getting back to natural. Unfortunately, getting rid of the surgical mistake costs more than committing the mistake in the first place. Roughly twice as much.

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